get through valentines day

How do I get through Valentine’s Day? You have to know this LOVE Day is a trigger for many people who have lost a spouse. The first few years it’s really hard to get through the day. And then who knows, but maybe the 6th year somehow is bad- you never can quite guess this grief game. I have 6 things to get you through Valentine’s Day!

The first thing you need to know is you LOVED this person, and that is a good thing. So don’t be all mad at yourself for feelings that come up on LOVE day. Be proud of yourself for feeling LOVE!

The second thing is everyone is going to post on social media their love for their spouse and it may hurt. Remember when you were in your marriage that you probably had bad days too, but on Valentine’s Day it is all mushy and pretty and things look amazing for everyone else. You know the reality of it and they were probably arguing a few minutes ago, but then they post a sweet LOVE picture. (Done that) If social media is going to be a trigger for you, then don’t go on it on V-day. Pretty simple- you can just say, “Thank you, next” and don’t engage on social media until Feb 15th.

The third thing is to just love those memories. It’s ok to cry and show all of your emotions. Tears heal so, go ahead and think about the good times and cry it out.

The fourth thing is to consider doing something to honor your loved one- go somewhere they loved, write a letter to them, look at fun memories. Try to make it something that helps you feel good and positive.

The fifth thing you could do is treat yourself the way your spouse would have treated you today. If there’s nobody around to give you flowers, go get them yourself! Go get a massage or a nice lunch or dinner.

The sixth thing to get you through Valentine’s Day is to go make someone else’s day! When you see them light up, it will light you up! Serving others is always a great fix.

Another bonus idea is to laugh. Watch a funny movie or home videos that make you feel good. Have fun- laughter heals your heart.

You can do this! Your heart is an amazing organ and you will find out that you can put it through a lot, and it will continue to beat. And beat again. I will tell you right now that I love you. I may only know you from this amazing Widow World on the World Wide Web, but you give me purpose and love and I am grateful for each and every one of you!