Growing up, my life was filled with love and Disney shows. My favorite princess was Cinderella. It’s funny how I imagined my life would go. I never thought life would be hard- no, it’s like a fairy tale (well I only pictured the end of the fairy tale!) It seems to me that so many girls have been through this as well- I had Disney Princess Expectations. It makes me laugh to think about what I envisioned my life to be like and how detailed I created this vision.
Marcie age 10:
1. I would marry a handsome prince who was blonde with blue eyes.
2. We would have 4 children: A boy, twins- a girl and a boy, then a girl. I had their names picked out.
3. I would be a fun mom every day.
4. My kids would be dressed cute all the time- like princes and princesses.
5. We would be rich.
6. I would be a stay-at-home mom who cooked and made the home beautiful.
7. We would be the perfect family for everyone to look up to.
8. We would live happily ever after- the 6 of us.
Haha- So how did that work for me? 30 years later… not so perfect. Slowly the dreams started to fade into reality and life took on a deeper meaning. I don’t know the ending yet, but when I look at this list, at least I got the first one right! Twice…
Marcie NOW:
1. I have married two handsome guys! Now that was not something I expected at all. I never saw myself having to go through the tragedy of losing one spouse, then luckily finding Matt who exceeded all my expectations as a husband and father to all of our nine kids.
2. We didn’t have 4 children, but 6, then 9. Looks like 8 was not enough.
3. In my 20’s and 30’s I thought FUN was a bad word and was for those under the age of 18. I have heard happy people include PLAY in their life- I’m going to have to practice that. Luckily Matt is more balanced this way and we have had a ton of fun the past few years and more is on its way. It’s funny that “PLAY” would make me feel really uneasy and irresponsible, but I am learning. Sitting down to play a game with the kids, I admit, I am still thinking, “Do you know all the things I should be doing?!”
4. Dress the kids cute?! Are you crazy? I didn’t have time to dress myself each day! For sure not my kids when I had 6 kiddos running around the house! They wore whatever the heck they wanted. I had some who would wear the same thing for days and days until the smell gave them away, then others who changed their outfit every couple of hours. Laundry is a completely different story…
5. We certainly weren’t rich in money, but now I am RICH in love and blessings which is meaningful, not trivial.
6. I wasn’t a stay-at-home mom, but that’s because I chose it. I started a company when I was 22 and still run it today. I didn’t want to sit at home and do diapers and dishes every day- that would make me even crazier. I needed some adult to talk to and not about Mac-n-Cheese. I also heard the clock strike midnight more than once because of the long hours. No, I haven’t been whisked away in a princess carriage. Ever.
7. Perfect. Now that is a bad word, maybe even a swear word, in my head today. I strived for 20 years for PERFECT and never found it. It did give me something though- stress, anxiety, and a feeling of not being good enough. It was a terrible way to live my life- striving for the impossible. “Perfect” makes my stomach turn now.
8. Happily ever after. The 6 of us? No, it’s doubled that and will again and again. Happiness is a word that has different meanings for everyone. For me, happiness is when my heart feels good and knows I am on the right path. My path is a journey and has many twists and turns and I can’t even guess where I am going next. But you know what- I’m ok with that. I have found happiness within and it’s not going anywhere.
I feel like the luckiest girl in the world because I have lived a life full of experience. No, I didn’t get all my 10-year-old dreams. It’s been different. It’s been fun and exciting. Maybe I really have lived the Cinderella story?! I have gone through hard things and have found a fire within to survive. Like the pumpkin that turned into something it was not- I have turned into something that I was not. My unfulfilled Disney Princess expectations made me the person I am today.
Maybe my life is a fairy tale after all.
