note to you my new friend

I don’t always understand why things happen, but I have found a reason to be brave. That reason is you, my friend. I have felt strongly in the past few years since my husband passed away to write my story. Why would anyone want to do this?! It has hurt all over again and I thought the pain was so great the first time that I may not survive! But the feeling has continued, so here I am today, praying I can touch your heart and let you know that you are not alone. I wish I could invite you into my home, wrap my arms and a blanket around you and give you some of my homemade chicken noodle soup. This is what makes me feel warm inside, but I know that’s not possible so I hope my words will do the same thing and wrap you in love and make you feel loved and safe.

You are on a journey that is not easy. You are going to learn to be brave and see a side of you that you may have never seen. I know this is the case for me. My oldest son told me a couple of years ago that I have changed. Oh, you better believe it, every fiber of my being has changed. I hope for the better. I like the new me even though I still have a lot of things I hope to become better at.

I was born a peacemaker. I love that word. I didn’t realize this until I wrote this, but all I have really wanted in this life is to have peace. When my daughter was young she asked me what my favorite word was and I thought long and hard. PEACE. That’s my word and I hope to bring it to you by telling you about my journey. Having peace has been difficult in a new way the past few years since my husband passed away because I find peace when I am open and honest and so are those around me. Being true to myself has been very difficult because most people don’t understand the circumstances surrounding my life now. I have found my best friends have become people who have walked along the same path as I have. It seems there is a mutual understanding even though the circumstances vary greatly.

Losing my husband shook me to the core. Broke me down so strongly I didn’t know who or where I was. I felt there was a tiny light in the core of my heart still beating. I had to start from this glimpse of hope and start filling my heart again with peace. I had to find meaning and from there the light in my heart began to grow.

I will tell you about my journey on this website and how I found happiness- true happiness at the center of my heart. I know your journey is different, but I also know from talking to many of you that we are all walking on parallel roads and the feelings we share are similar. The core of my heart just wants to have joy. Believe me- it has not been easy and it won’t be easy for you. It hurt so bad I remember thinking I would never wish this on anyone. Now I realize I wouldn’t be who I am today, so I feel bad for those who have never seen this light. I have had many people say they are so sorry for me, that I have had a really hard life and I say, €œNo, I have had a great life full of experience. I have become a person who strives to forgive, who loves the contrast of people, and sees that my mom was right. Dang it- she’s always right! Since I was young, she told me to LOOK FOR THE GOOD and this adventure has been a great lesson in doing so. My sweet mother knew I needed to hear those precious words each day of my life so I look at life with a positive attitude. Some say it’s like wearing rose-colored glasses. Well if I’m wearing them, I sure love ME in the color pink.

You are always welcome here! So come back often 🙂