Having your spouse die is an extremely emotional experience. I didn’t realize how many things it would make me re-think! It made me question my very identity. I had a complete loss of self. I wasn’t expecting this at all. Most things that I was a part of before he passed, were different now. It […]
When do I take off my wedding ring? This is the question I see the most. The answer may seem simple, but there are so many dimensions to this- just like a diamond. Everyone feels differently about who should wear a wedding ring, where they should wear it and for how long. Just like grieving […]
My new widow friend just called me and said “He passed away! What do I do with his things?” Ouch. That hurts my heart because I remember going through this myself. I didn’t do anything with most of it until more than a year after his passing. His office, closet, and bathroom were the hardest […]
What I did the first few months after loss when I was anxious? Ran like crazy, did as many spin classes as my gym offered and kickboxing, pilates, yoga, weights. Anything so I didn’t have to go home. Anything so I could feel my legs hurt instead of my heart. I know it wasn’t the […]
Why Didn’t God Take Me Instead? This is a very common question to ask. We ask this question and many more because our brain is trying to process what happened. Our brain’s main function is to protect us, so it’s doing its job trying to figure out how you could have fixed this or […]
This a question I hear all the time… When is the best time to change my social media status from married to widow? This is a big one even though that may sound crazy. It’s kind of like telling people some deep stuff that’s in your heart or where you are at in the grieving […]
I have heard many people say, “I didn’t sign up for this”, or “I didn’t ask for this.” It makes me wonder what everyone thinks they signed up for? This is what I believe- we knew this life was going to be hard when we wanted to come to this earth. I believe we knew […]
Now that the funeral is over you will start getting a ton of mail. It was overwhelming to me! My mom came to my house a couple of times a week to help me sort it out, call who I needed to, turn in important papers, deal with life insurance, apply for Social Security, etc. […]
Was my heart ripped apart when Jay passed away? Absolutely! But I realized that the heart muscle does heal – just like any other muscle in my body. Also, I figured out over time that when you work your muscles – like your legs while running or biking, you create little tears in your muscle […]
I have learned that being grateful may be the best thing to help me through ups and downs. Yes, some days that is hard to do. But if I just look around there is so much to be grateful for- my very breath, love, I feel for those around me, this beautiful earth, and pure […]
Teens are very unique and act that way. So you will need to think of them individually with their personalities and what they have been through. Think through a few of these things on how to support a teenager. There is not a wrong or right way how to do this. Talking to your teen […]
Oh no! The 3-month mark?! 100 days after Jay had passed was the hardest time I have had in the 10 years since his loss. At this point, the numb feeling wore off and I began to realize he wasn’t coming back and I really was a widow. For people who have never lost anyone […]
Day after day I hear how many widows and widowers are hurting. Of course, your hearts hurt! You hurt because you loved, but remember LOVE is a good thing! There were many days that I thought, “I wish this didn’t hurt!” But then realized that I wouldn’t hurt at all if I didn’t care. If […]
There is a quote that many of us have heard, “TIME HEALS.” I do not think this is completely correct. Time is certainly an interesting thing. I know countless people that are still in deep mourning after years and decades after a loss of a loved one. There are also people that think you should […]
Emotions are such a big part of life. I picture each of us receiving 10 scoops of emotional energy per day. How we use these scoops depends on what our emotional and physical needs are and also what choices we make on how to use what we have. When I wake up feeling awesome I […]
