I know the feeling when someone passes away and it seems there’s nothing you can do. But, yes, there are some helpful things you can do and gifts for a widowed mom. I listed 10 of my favorite things you can either provide through service or give to the newly widowed…
1. One of the best things I received was a gift basket full of paper goods and cleaning items so I wouldn’t have to go to the store soon.
2. A basket full of fresh fruits and veggies is awesome. One nice thing if it is in your area is the baskets you can get once a week of fresh produce. You could deliver one each week to a widowed mom and she wouldn’t have to worry about shopping as often. I would absolutely LOVE this. In Utah, I bought amazing baskets from Mountain View Baskets. I know there are other ones in each area- so check this out!
3. Personalized jewelry is so thoughtful. There are a bunch of creative ideas for this one. You can get a necklace, ring, keyring, etc. made with their loved ones fingerprint or picture on it. One of my daughter’s friends gave her a dog tag that she still wears every day. It says “When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure.” And the back had a picture of her and her dad reflected into it. Another friend gave her a bracelet that was in morse code saying strength. Look on etsy.com for great ideas. Put in “fingerprint jewelry or memory jewelry” and you’ll get a bunch of ideas.
4. Memory Bear. There are patterns on Etsy of how to make a stuffed bear from the clothing of the one who has passed. There are even people who will make them for you.
5. Memberships to a museum, zoo or fun park. Trying to come up with ideas on how to have fun with your kids is extremely difficult when you aren’t feeling great and grieving. So giving a year-long pass is such a great idea. They will think about the gift every time they go. My friends also took my kids to fun places so I could have a few hours to rest and that was amazing as well.
6. Memory Box or Scrapbook full of letters. This has been so meaningful for years! A friend asked for letters to be sent or emailed to her with memories each person had with my husband. They put them in a box for me and gave them to me after the funeral. I learned so many things about my husband who had passed that I didn’t even know. It was really special. I have gone through it many times and read the sweet memories.
7. Memory pillow. You can take a picture and have it put on material and make it into a pillow. My neighbor did this for my kids and it’s one of their favorite things. They love to sleep with it each night. Another idea is getting one of his shirts and making it into a pillow. Embroidering a message is awesome too. There’s something about hugging one of their items that soothe- especially at bedtime when they are no longer there to hold.
This Shirt Memory Pillow is on Etsy from Isn’t it awesome! Beth can help you create a gift that will be a lasting memory.
8. Make a blanket from the clothing of the one who has passed away. This one takes some very basic sewing skills, but I can only sew straight lines, and I can do this one! Etsy has a bunch of ideas on how to do this and people that will make them for you if you’re not feeling crafty or friends can help you if you are not able to do it yourself. First, ask the widow if she has any clothing from her husband who has passed that you could make a blanket out of. Depending on the amount of clothing you have and the size of the shirts/pants, come up with a size that will work for you. Remember you can add in a basic color for every other color if you need to fill in to make it larger. Even a small four-foot square blanket will bring a ton of happiness. My squares were 8″ finished, so I cut them at 9″ to start (then sewed 1/2″ seams). You can make it any size you want, just be consistent with the sizing. Even if you need to sew some pieces together to make the 9″- it will look fantastic. Seams in the finished 9″ square make it fun, too so don’t worry if you have to go around a side of a shirt. A good size for a child or a small lap blanket is about 40″ x 48″ which would mean you need 30 squares for one side of the blanket (5 squares wide x 6 squares long). An adult size could be 48″ x 72″. This size would need 6 squares across by 9 squares down. Be creative- any size will be just fine! Lay our your squares to make a fun pattern. Sew all of your 9″ squares together (TIP: the more exact your 1/2″ seams are the easier it is as you go!) The back can be any fabric you want. For the adult size I like to do a little over 2 yards (54″ wide fabric). You can also get creative about the edges of the blanket- sewing pieces along the edges or just leaving it with the squares only. Have fun with it and I promise this will bring tears of joy to the family. In this picture, you can see they used smaller squares and it looks great. I made one from my husband’s Levis. It was a bit challenging to sew because Levis are sturdy, but it worked (quite a few heavy-duty needles later…) I put flannel on the back side.
9. Gift cards for anything are so helpful. I had ones for build-a-bear, fast food, restaurants, massages, nails, clothing stores- you name it! People were so thoughtful. I loved getting a massage the morning of my husband’s viewing. I may have broken down, but that was a safe place to do it and it relaxed me for the upcoming hard days ahead. Gong through a drive-thru so I didn’t have to cook or go to the grocery store was such a blessing, too.
10. Make a picture memory blanket. For this one you need to collect favorite photos of the loved one who has passed. You can upload them to Costco or other companies and create a blanket. It’s easier in some ways if you can get some photos. This is a picture of a blanket my daughter created for her husband to give you an idea of what they can look like.
Thank you for being so giving and thoughtful to those who have lost a loved one! You are the reason the world is so good. I was shown so much love in so many ways and I will never forget it. I will also never be able to pay back the kindness that was shown to me and my kids and for that, I will always be grateful. xo
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