I received the box from the sheriffs office
Nov 15, 2008
When I got home from work on Monday, I got a surprise in the mail that threw me off for a whole day. Tooele Sheriff’s Department sent me a box of Jay’s things they had held for evidence from the search. His shoes, sunglasses and a CD. That was all they found in his entire car. Yes he was OCD! For about an hour I couldn’t even open the package. I finally took it up in my room and opened it and sobbed. Natalie called me while I was opening it and came right home and cried with me. It brought all of the feelings back from the very beginning. It was horrible. (Butterfly Kisses was Jay and Natalie’s song – that’s why I put that on my playlist this week.)Every second was hard the rest of Monday and all of Tuesday. Monday night was better for a few hours while we had FHE at Pulsiphers. Thank you !! We made packages for our ward missionaries which includes Riley so that was fun. Tuesday at 2 pm I felt like it had been 2 weeks that day! Luckily I had friends to talk to and President Ludwig to bring me out of the dumps again. Wednesday I woke up with peace and made it through the rest of the week.
I went to the gym and worked every day which is good for me so I could think about something else!
I see my life coach every week and she has helped me deal with so many issues. I think everyone should see a counselor- even if it is for a few weeks!
Another thing I realize is that I still can’t remember anything! Even if I write it down I can’t remember to look at my calendar or list of things to do. Everyone tells me this is normal when a tragedy strikes but I hope this part ends! It’s like my life is an etch-a-sketch and someone just shook it up.
It was nice to have my parents home from Santiago because they come over and help me once a week. Thank you to all of my sweet friends that have brought us dinner, helped me with my children and taken me out on dates this week! 6 nights this week different people took me out to do something fun. I couldn’t do this without you!!
I made a poster and put it on our door in the family room that all of us in our family can write down things they are grateful for this month and we have a lot!! I love the song “Count Your Blessings”. I always sing the chorus funny,”Count your blessings name them one by one- Riley, Natalie, Jeremy, Amy, Rachelle, Melissa, count your many blessing see what God hath done!
I have so many things to be grateful for!
Me and Lindsay at Karols baby shower. I can’t wait for Jeff’s baby to come! That’s something we are all so grateful for!

4 comments:

said…

Oh Marcie, I’m so sorry that you had such a hard few days. I would do anything to heal your pain even for a few hours. I don’t think that you realize how strong and amazing you are. Thank you for your great example. I love you and want to take you out sometime soon.

said…

I’m sorry last week was so hard Marc! That package was kind of a weird hiccup in your week! =) I know I’ve said this a million times, but I love you so much, and I hope you know how amazing you really are. We still need to have that girl’s night!! Let’s do it soon. =)

said…

I love you so much! I’m sorry this week was a toughy!!! You are still coming to dinner Sunday though right??? That’s something good to look forward to this week! I can’t wait! Riley’s letter was sure cute this week with his Christmas list. I’ll have to put a package together for him! It was fun seeing you on Saturday, as always! See you soon!

said…

You are so strong! Hang in there! I keep you in my prayers!