pray for my brain to come home

December 7, 2008

Sunday was as hard as the rest of last week! In the morning I missed Jay and couldn’t find a place in my house to be alone so I went to the cemetery. I just sat there and cried and cried. I can do hard things but I don’t want to do this one! This month is going to be so hard! Melissa had the flu last night so I only went to Sacrament Meeting. Later we went to my parent’s house for dinner and that is always fun, so it helped get me ready for the week.
The song, “Seasons in the Sun” was one of Jay’s favorites.
I love Mondays- it is a fresh new start! Monday was Jeremy’s birthday. I thought it was so cute that Natalie checked him out from school and took him out to lunch. I had no idea she was going to do that but was grateful because I was at work. I also saw my life coach and that always lifts me. My visiting teachers came and I thought they were amazing because it is the first day of the month – I have never done that!! I had a great dinner brought in from my cute friends from my bluff ward – Riley’s 2 best friends’ moms. Does that sentence even make sense? It is very obvious that my brain has not returned yet!! We had my parents over and Andrew and Brittany since it is her birthday too! They had FHE with us then cake, ice cream, and presents. I asked Jeremy if it was hard not to have his Dad here and he said he tried not to think about it. That’s what I do a lot, so I understand 🙂

Oh my gosh– now that I look at it, I didn’t have to make dinner one night this week! I am so blessed to have such good friends that are helping me in so many ways! A nice healthy dinner is huge to me, so I hope you know that you are helping me so much! I worked 4 days this week and love it. I really enjoy being with my brother every day and our employees are awesome.
I went to the gym 6 days this week. I think I love the gym because there are a lot of things I can’t control in my life but I can control this part. When I was pregnant with Amy I had gestational diabetes and I wrote down everything I ate for a month. That’s my huge suggestion for this week if you write down what you eat you will start eating better. I would think, “Do I really want to write down that I ate a Kit-Kat bar? No, I would rather write a carrot!” So I would eat a carrot instead. Since I have been going to the gym every day for 5 years I have learned a few things, so I like to share a few things so maybe I can help someone. I think most of us need a lot more water than we are getting. I was so dehydrated all of the time and didn’t even realize it. I try to drink a glass of water each morning when I get up and try to remember during the day to drink whenever I can. I keep a water bottle in the car, too. I still am not very good at this goal, but I’m trying. And Kip– just for me try to give up one Diet Coke a day and trade it in for a glass of water. I promise you will feel better!! I can tell what I ate or drank the day before when I work out.
Thursday was hard when I saw the 2009 family directory for Jay’s extended family. Jay was taken off of it. I cried for a long time over that one. It doesn’t seem right. I started to realize on the ward directory and everything this year it will be just me on the lists. This is so unreal.
I’m really spontaneous, so when Bussells brought us dinner on Thursday, Harvey said he was going ice skating with his kids so we ate his awesome salmon taco dinner (can you believe he made the whole dinner by himself – I was impressed!)and then left with him. We had a blast!
Friday I didn’t work because I went to Rachelle’s class. She was the Cool Kid this week, so I got to go to her class for an activity. I taught her class about science and chemistry and they each made their own Glow Dough. 8 is such a great age!
I mailed Riley’s Christmas package to him and was happy to think I have one out of my six kids done!!
Saturday I decided I had waited way, way too long to braid Melissa’s hair again. So Melissa and I were together for most of the day:) She is so patient! It is really hard to unbraid, wash and comb out when I wait so long. We took a lunch break and then braided it again. It was about 3 1/2 hours with lunch in there! I am so impressed now with people with black hair! It is so much different than Caucasian hair. I love Melissa’s hair, but it is probably the hardest part of having a black girl. It’s so cool when you braid because it is like wire and just stays – even without elastics for a while! It’s nice when her hair is braided because I can leave it in for a month. The picture is taken after I had her all combed out and we were ready to start braiding. I love it when it’s an afro, but it gets tangled in just hours! She says she is Tinie Turner. Melissa lights up my life 🙂
My kids turned on the TV for the first time since we watched the search for Jay. They watched Rudolph! That’s worth turning the TV on 🙂
Brett C. took me to see Twilight and I loved it. Maybe I will finish book 2! I have so many books started and I need to finish them. I have one in my car so when I am waiting for the kids I have something to do, I have one by my bed and I have one in my purse. If my brain would come back I could concentrate long enough to finish some of these! I bought 4 more that I want to read, so pray for my brain to come home!!