Bulletproof sounds like a good thing- right? It can’t be hurt, things just bounce off of you and you don’t feel it. There are a couple of popular songs that talk about being BULLETPROOF. One of them by La Roux is about a girl whose heart had been hurt, so she told herself she was now going to be bulletproof and would never let herself be hurt again. She was bulletproofing her heart!
When I became a widowI thought that sounded like a good plan. I had been hurt and was ready to wear a bulletproof vestand never let a soul breakthrough.I bet anyone that has been crushed in a relationship has thought this before, “Ouch- I’m not letting that happen again! Next time I will be bulletproof!”
Could I be bulletproof? Put some armor around my heart, something that keeps me from heartache? Actually yes, I could. But would that be a good thing in the long run? I began to realize that building a wall around my heart wouldn’t do anyone good- my kids, family, friends and especially me. I had let my heart go numb before and this felt like the same thing- but maybe even worse! Like the extended-stay plan!
I am so grateful that something inside me strongly said: “NO, open that heart!”I decided that I would put my heart out there on the line, maybe even more so than I ever had. I re-wrote the words to the song and told myself, “This time I will NOT be bulletproof!” Did I get hurt again, oh yes I did, but I knew there was a reason deep within that I had to keep my heart open. Something good was going to come from it.
Thank goodness I kept my heart wide open. I have no idea how I did it except it was a gift from God. When my heart was at the lowest, my knight in shining armor came into my life and lifted me. He put his armor down as well. We built a relationship on trust and being open and honest with each other.To never have loved again would have hurt much worse than putting my heart out there. Look what I would have missed out on! I’m so, so grateful because now my heart is full and bursting with love. The only way this could happen was by being vulnerable and deciding that this time I will NOT be bulletproof.