There are many women in my life who have had a strong influence on me– of course my own mother, sisters, friends, etc. One mother stands out to me this year and has been important in my life, but she is a mom I have never met.
13 years ago I had 5 beautiful blonde children and was done having kids. Or so I thought…
For 9 months it was like a little bird was sitting on my shoulder chirping in my ear, “Adopt a dark baby”. What – are you crazy?! I was really good at arguing with this voice… “I have 5 kids already and am perfectly capable of creating more. But I’m done. Financially, emotionally, and physically I am maxed out. I’m sure there is someone else who could do this better than me!” I had no idea why I was feeling this so strongly. EVERY . SINGLE . DAY! Gosh -Okay already!I knew with all my heart I was supposed to adopt. So I started looking at different adoption agencies worldwide. Where in the world is this baby of mine? I learned that I needed to get in a quiet space to listen and pray for guidance. Month after month things became more clear. Unclouded for me, but nobody else. I had so many negative comments about this crusade I was on but knew deep in my heart I was doing the right thing. So I pressed forward. I really learned to listen to my heart instead of others. Finally, 9 months later, I received a call that a baby was being born later that evening and the mother had chosen our family to adopt her baby. It was multi-racial. Was this my baby? Yes. It felt right. My family and I waited all day and night to find out if it was a boy or a girl.
Around midnight I received the call, “It’s a GIRL!” I cried, then worried. Who would be there to hold and care for this baby until we got across the United States to get her? I didn’t sleep all night wanting to hold my little girl. I didn’t expect this part- I never thought of how my heart would ache until I could have her in my arms. The next day my husband and I called and called to find flights to get to the hospital in Michigan. It took hours and missed flights and sleeping in a city I didn’t want to be in because I was only halfway to my baby. Another night of lost sleep praying someone was caring for this little soul of mine far away. One more flight and we made it to the hospital. In the parking lot, we got a phone call from the agency saying there was a problem. My heart dropped. She said the mother of the child to be adopted was having such a hard time letting go of her baby and didn’t feel up to meeting us. Oh gosh, I thought she was going to say she had changed her mind! I was sad I couldn’t meet the mom to tell her how much I admire her. I couldn’t imagine what she was going through- giving up a child.
I paced the waiting room for what seemed hours. The nurse finally put us in a birthing room and told us that the mother was having a really hard time letting her daughter go. She had held her every second since she was born except when the doctor had her. My prayers had been answered. There was someone there to care for and love my daughter until I got there- her very own birth mother. Finally, a man brought us our baby and while crying, placed her in my arms. He was the mom’s boyfriend and apologized for the mother not meeting us, but she just couldn’t do it. I sobbed. 9 months of worry and hope felt so right- now that I was holding my baby. I couldn’t believe the gift I was given by a complete stranger. A life. A beautiful daughter that looked like she had a black wig on! The mother said she wanted her daughter to have a life she couldn’t give her. I told him to tell this mother “thank you”, and that I will love this little girl with all my heart. And I have. Melissa brings me joy I never imagined.
So thank you, birth mother, of Melissa, for giving me the most unbelievable gift that anyone could give. Thank you for being selfless. Thank you for taking A LIFE so seriously. Thank you for caring and loving her until I could hold her forever. Thank you for being such an amazing example to my daughter of a woman that put her own wants and desires aside and gave up her baby- hoping she would have a good life. Thank you for being brave and having the courage to do this. Thank you for trusting me with your most precious gift. I will be grateful to you forever. I honor YOU on this Mother’s Day.
Isn’t she stunning!