When do I take off my wedding ring? This is the question I see the most. The answer may seem simple, but there are so many dimensions to this- just like a diamond. Everyone feels differently about who should wear a wedding ring, where they should wear it and for how long. Just like grieving itself, there is no right answer. My simple answer is, “Take off your wedding ring when YOU want to.”
A few days after my husbands funeral we went on a week long trip to Lake Powell to get away from it all. I took off my wedding ring before we left, like I did every year when we went to the lake. When I got home I was going to put my ring back on and it hit me again (like it did every morning now with a BIG thud in my heart) that Jay was gone. So now I had a decision to make. Put the wedding ring back on or leave it off for good? This was a really hard decision, like lots of things were starting to be. I remember thinking, “If I put it back on now, then when is the right time to take it off?” I couldn’t really think of a good answer to that, so decided to leave it off. I put it in my jewelry box and later in my safe deposit box along with Jay’s ring.
I remember thinking I am not married anymore. On this earth I am now considered single. Well, I am considered a widow. This took my heart a really long time to adjust to. Some people who are widows and widowers consider themselves still married. They never divorced, they still loved their husband with their whole heart, so they will wear the wedding ring forever. I get this, too. There isn’t a right or wrong way to do this. We are all walking a path we had no idea we would be on and making decisions we never thought we would have to make. SO this one is completely up to you! Don’t let anyone make you feel your choice is a good or bad one- this, my friend, is a decision that is all up to YOU! Follow your gut/intuition/heart is my best advice. Look at all of the different aspects and do what you feel is right for you.
Another element or dimension is you could change how you wear the ring. Several people put their wedding ring on a necklace and wear it that way. Some have their ring and their husbands ring on a necklace. Many widows change their wedding ring to the right hand. A few have taken their ring and sometimes their husbands ring to a jeweler and have it changed into a different style. Mixing the two rings together sounds fabulous to me. I heard of a widower who had 3 children and their mom who had passed had 3 diamonds in her ring. He had a jeweler make 3 separate rings for the kids. Numerous people leave their rings in a safe place to give it to their children to use in some way. There are tons of creative ways to preserve your loved one’s memory with their wedding ring. What are you going to do? You don’t even have to decide now! You are on YOUR own journey and the decisions are all yours!
