Who Am I Now aka Identity Crisis

Over the past few years, I feel that I have had a bit of an Identity Crisis and I’m wondering– who am I?

I used to say, “I am a wife, a mother to nine, a business owner, a member of a community, church, etc.” I love all these things in my life sooo much, but I attached my identity to those around me, my titles, and physical things, and not to myself and who I was deep inside. I was labeling myself.

Interestingly when things were pulled out from under me, I had to take a good hard look at who I really am.

My husband died in 2008. I thought it was so interesting when he died I couldn’t introduce myself as “Jay’s wife” anymore. I didn’t like my new title of “widow”. So was I nothing, a nobody? If I wasn’t his, who was I?

I have always loved to say “I am the owner of Glow Dough”. I totally attach myself to the fun glowy gel. But what If I sold my company- would I be “President of Nothing”? Would my “Glow for it!” be gone? Would I be “the Previous Owner of Glow Dough?” When I wrote that I laughed and it made me think of the music star, Prince, who changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol. His name was contracted with his label company and he didn’t like it. How creative?! Who thinks of stuff like this, oh– a talented, innovative musician. People called him, “The Artist Formerly Known as Prince” since he didn’t have a name that could be spoken. Was he a no-name? I don’t think so. In the year 2000, he went back to the name Prince when his contract expired.

Prince’s new name, the unpronounceable “Love Symbol”

Prince Love symbol

I won’t sell my kids, like I could a business, so I can always call myself “Rachelle’s mom”, “Amy’s mom” etc. What if they grow up and move out, like they are in the process of doing, is this who I am?

Without my church, am I nothing, a generic being?

If I lost everything, which at one point I felt I had lost most “things” that were my TITLE’S, who was I? I started to realize I couldn’t attach my identity to things that could be lost or taken away. Things change.

I know this has happened to a lot of people through all kinds of loss- personal, financial, physical, spiritual, etc. For me, this has sent me on a journey of my own… Who am I? I heard a commercial that talked about protecting your identity, so I have in my own way….

I have found one more way for me to Stand Up and Live! I had the confidence to make an adjustment in my life.

Today I would introduce myself as a person who cares deeply about others, someone who is excited to learn new things, a humanitarian, lover of all things good, and one who wants to find light and share it. It all comes from within and that feels good and secure. I do not feel like I need to use titles or be “somebody’s” or be an owner of something. If I identify myself with anyone, I would say I am a child of God. Now, even though loss will happen, it will be impossible for me to feel Personal Identity Theft or identity crisis.

personal identity theft who am I