I have heard people say that if everyone were to put their challenges in a pile, then you could choose a few, you would look at all of the choices, then pick out the ones you put in the pile, to begin with. Are you crazy? Haha, I would choose the person who is on a cruise and trying to decide what daily excursion to go on. Or the person whose challenge is to be brave enough to lift off for a hot air balloon ride. Yes, I want to pick that from the pile.
Perspective. I know from living a while now that everyone has challenges, and nobody’s life is easy. I didn’t understand that until I started being vulnerable myself, then people were open with me. Even the person who is on a cruise, they have faced much harder decisions than the glass bottom boat or a horse ride on the beach today.
The reason we would probably pick our own challenges from the pile is that they are familiar. None of us want to go to a place where we are uncomfortable. So we just keep living our lives in that comfort zone- whether good or bad. Think about this, what if we chose someone else’s challenge- for instance struggling with finances? Money might be something we know well, so that might be easier for us to get through. That’s why I think it’s important we share with each other what is hard for us, but also what we are good at so we can help each other. We are all in this together. It has helped me a ton to realize that everyone’s path is different, too, and they are doing the best they can in the circumstances they have been given.
I’m pretty sure nobody would choose the challenge I was given- losing their spouse to suicide. Probably nobody would choose the challenges you are facing either- no matter what they are or have been- health, financial, relationship problems, etc. As human beings, it is our nature to choose the path of least resistance. It really helps me to know I am not the only one learning from this human existence and it is supposed to be this way! But we have the choice daily to choose to have a good attitude about whatever it is that comes our way.
There is something amazing that happens in the transformation. At first, the death of Jay hurt so bad I really didn’t know if my heart would survive. Then after the first few months, I began to realize that I’m ok. I cried, worked my butt off at the gym, turned up the music really loud, and did whatever I could to survive -not without making mistakes. It’s like living your own survivor series and grateful it isn’t on reality TV! Finally, I found out, Hey! I’m not going to die. I am going to LIVE.
Everything started to change and I realized I didn’t have much fear. I had survived the worst thing I could think of! I even found meaning in it. Bring it on- I was transforming into a superhero. I could raise my six kids by myself, I could still run my business, I could be the most physically fit I have ever been, and oh, no! Here comes a different trial. What? I already had my hard thing! Other challenges started to come about. Of course! Dang, I am not Wonder Woman.
Besides the big daddy challenges, there are daily little struggles. I have to remember these are brought into my life to become better at things that aren’t easy for me. Like forgiveness. I keep learning that one over and over and the tough one is forgiving myself. Gosh, I need to get better at this so I don’t have so many chances to get better at it!
Now I realize challenge is part of life. And we usually don’t get to choose what comes our way. It’s like a roller coaster- there are twists and turns I never dreamed of, highs and lows, and trying to catch my breath. I know there isn’t going to be just one challenge and then I learn how to deal with it. Life is full of crazy things, but it’s the way you look at it. I am grateful for my challenges in the pile of life and even though I would probably say, “No, thank you”, I will take what I can from them and grow. I believe that is why I am here on earth. So where is that hot air balloon?