you are still whole

You are still whole. Even though you feel like half of you is gone. I know your heart has been ripped out, but you are still 100% person. You aren’t 1/2 person like half of you has been taken from your body. Look you probably still have 2 legs and 2 arms. Emotionally it seems like half of you have been taken but you can still make decisions. I know that sounds hard when you have probably been used to making decisions together. With your spouse. But no, your brain isn’t half gone now. Well, ok it feels like it because you’re not sleeping well and your brain is in widows fog but you have 100% brain in your head. I promise it will slowly come back to be clear. But do not think you’re only 50% capable now. You are whole. You are complete. You are loved and loving (you hurt so much to have them gone because you loved so much and that is a GOOD thing!) You can do this all by yourself. You learned to walk by yourself when a toddler, so you can learn to walk again by yourself now. Please don’t become bitter or afraid. I know sometimes it feels like if you feel these things or say these things it is showing your love and memorializing them. But if you think about it from where they are now- they would never want you to feel anything less than 100% happy and healthy. Show them your love by loving YOURSELF.

You have heard me say this over and over but when you are feeling low think about all you are grateful for. Even basic things like water or sunshine. Your brain cannot think of gratitude and fear at the same time so fill that head with good positive thoughts and things you are grateful for. Watch for the negative thoughts and patterns and change them. It’s not easy, but you can do this. Flip the thought. If you start thinking “Half of me is gone”, change it to “I am whole and complete.” Change it every single time and then your head and heart will begin to believe it. Say “Yes” to life. A good life.

Yes, I know this is a hard time and everyone grieves differently and on their own timeline. I know because I have been here. I have walked this path. But don’t let the bad stuff in and make you feel less than anything worthy and whole. Never, ever.

Choose a statement to say to yourself over and over that works for you or that is needed. Here are a few that I like:

I am grateful.

I am enough.

I am beautiful.

I am worthy of all good things.

I am thankful for my body.

I am moving forward.

I can change.

I am like a bright light.

I am good.

I did a good job today.

I am still whole.

I love you.