you hurt because you loved... but love is a good thing

Day after day I hear how many widows and widowers are hurting. Of course, your hearts hurt! You hurt because you loved, but remember LOVE is a good thing!

There were many days that I thought, “I wish this didn’t hurt!” But then realized that I wouldn’t hurt at all if I didn’t care. If I hadn’t loved my husband then my heart wouldn’t be hurting so much. It probably wouldn’t hurt at all.

Then I look back even further and think if I wouldn’t have known him at all I wouldn’t be hurting now. Then I realize what I would have missed! 6 kids and all the marriage and family times that go along with 23 years of being together. I sure wouldn’t be who I am today without all of those years. And I look at my kids and they wouldn’t be here either and then I wouldn’t have that love in my life. It’s a chain of love that we created and I wouldn’t want to change that.

I have a choice to make. How do I respond to this hurt? I made a clear, definitive choice: I am grateful for the time I had with Jay. I am grateful that I loved. I gave my love freely and deeply. I gave him all I had and I will never regret that.

So bring on the hurt, sadness and pain. I will take that any day over feeling numb and indifferent (there was a time in my life I felt that too – and it’s not truly living). If I had never loved I would never know the good and bad, or love and loss. I will not take for granted any love in my life. It is a special gift. Yes, remember LOVE is a good thing.