I have been through some things in life and needed some time to think through– like YEARS to process! I didn’t even realize until now that we created a homemade cocoon. A safe house. One that only the people who live here could be inside. Matt and I with our children- learning and growing.
So how does a caterpillar inside a cocoon turn into a butterfly? What an incredible process! Well, it starts with the caterpillar eating as many leaves as possible, then stops when it is plump and full. It turns upside down on a branch and spins itself into a cocoon. Inside this protective shell, the caterpillar transforms its body eventually into a beautiful butterfly. When it feels strong enough, it will emerge and fly.
I feel that I have gone through this process and have Matt to thank for the time and attention I needed. We did feel like we were upside down in life and built this cocoon around us. He let me know I was in a safe and secure place to learn and grow. It was my season of change- and it has taken years. For the first four years, I spent my energy on our kids and making sure they were doing ok. Then I realized for me to help them I had to help myself first. Yes- it only took me years to figure that one out! I have filling my mind and spirit with knowledge and goodness. The spiritual, psychological, and self-help books have been a big part of my diet for a few years now. My mind has been transforming and I have found some peace.
I know I have let my friendships go and hopefully I can rekindle those soon. There were things I had to figure out myself before I could talk openly about them with others. I have also had to put personal goals and business plans on hold while I stepped back. I have spent some time learning to speak in front of others hoping one day I will be able to teach the things I have learned to many. I have experienced great lessons in life and am grateful for every day.
Maya Angelou said, “When you learn, teach. When you get, give.” This is my ambition.
I know I will forever be learning, but have finally come to a place where I can break out of the cocoon and become a butterfly– ready to spread my wings and fly.
7/20/15
