This could be an entire book, but for now, let’s look at the basics of children’s grief. Children and loss– Kids don’t have experiences or resources in knowing how to deal with death. That’s our duty is to teach them, probably right along with ourselves, how to do this in the most healthy way. Unfortunately […]
There is a quote that many of us have heard, “TIME HEALS.” I do not think this is completely correct. Time is certainly an interesting thing. I know countless people that are still in deep mourning after years and decades after a loss of a loved one. There are also people that think you should […]
Acceptance is a word that doesn’t mix very well with the word death. It seems by saying that I accept this death that I’m ok with what has happened. That is not true. Acceptance is confused with ok with what happened and I don’t think anyone feels loss was justified or that they like this […]
Boundaries. Yeah- Another thing I get to learn in this journey. Isn’t this fun that every day I find something else I need to get better at? I must have skipped class when we learned about creating healthy boundaries. I thought being nice was the most important thing in the whole world and let people […]
A long time ago, it seems like a lifetime ago, I had a will done. Yes, way back in 2002 Jay and I bought “I will make you a will” from a lawyer at a Scout Fundraiser. We had heard you were supposed to, so this was our chance. If anything happens to me, Jay […]
I didn’t even realize that bargaining was a stage when I went through it. This happened a couple of weeks after the funeral when I would do anything not to feel this pain. The beginning looked something like IF ONLY’s and WHAT IF’s IF ONLY I had planned something to do that day so he […]
Bring on the guilt – loud and strong! Here it is- feelings of relief that they are gone. What in the world is going on?! This is a really confusing stage. This feels completely WRONG. I remember thinking I must be a terrible person to have these thoughts. Seriously I can’t believe that entered my […]
Rule #1: Don’t Compare Loss. When your loved one dies, it is common to hear people trying to comfort each other by saying, “I know how you feel because I lost…” Hearing these things really didn’t make me feel any better. It was hard for me to imagine that anyone could know how I felt […]
I’m grateful for where I am today and for what has happened in my past to make me who I am today. It has taken me years of self-help books and a husband who calmly talks me through everything to be able to write that and mean it. I’m also pretty obsessed with The Greatest […]
Days after Jay passed away I went to the doctor. I have had arthritis for years and when there is a ton of stress in my life I get a shot in my SI joint. It’s no small shot- it’s a 45-minute ordeal where they watch on x-ray equipment to get the needle in the […]
In the dictionary closure is a bringing to an end, the state of being closed. In death, there isn’t complete closure. At least I haven’t seen it in the living. I know our families and neighbors want us to move on because it’s driving them crazy to see us heartbroken. They say, Haven’t you found […]
Suicide has a different effect on a family than other causes of death. There is a stigma surrounding suicide and it makes everything so awkward. My family has seen the good bad and ugly of suicide. To tell you the truth, I haven’t seen much good except letting others know and being aware of what […]
Happy Father’s Day to the man who is everything to me. My Matt. He has put everything he has physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, and mentally into our family. BUT being a stepfather can be a thankless job. This blending is really hard and we have found that no matter how hard we try, someone is […]
Just like so many things right now, the relationship between diabetes and depression isn’t fully understood. I think it’s so interesting the more I have studied mental illness that it’s a disease just like diabetes. My husband had diabetes and we were not embarrassed to tell anyone he had that. He was highly perfectionist and […]
Today I was asked an interesting question… “I know your husband died, so what advice would you give on how do you prepare for loss?” My quick answer was, “That’s not something anyone can prepare for!” At least in my situation where he was here one day and gone the next. She then asked me […]
