Our family has been deeply affected by suicide. Matt and I have 9 children blended together. 3 of them are married and we consider all of them our kids, so we have 12. 11 of them have lost a parent at a young age. 7 children lost their dad to suicide, the other 4 lost […]
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross developed stages of grief when listening to and observing death and terminally ill patients. She came up with 5 stages of grief. I thought that was interesting because I think I have gone through 105 stages of grief… so far! I am years out now from my husband passing away and I think […]
For crying out loud! Please don’t stop yourself from crying. Cry it out! Your tears heal. They are taking the pain that you feel inside and releasing them outside. We don’t want them bottled up inside or our body and soul will feel it. Later it turns into stress, pain, and/or sickness. Some of us […]
Why Didn’t God Take Me Instead? This is a very common question to ask. We ask this question and many more because our brain is trying to process what happened. Our brain’s main function is to protect us, so it’s doing its job trying to figure out how you could have fixed this or […]
This is a list of documents you will probably need or want to have when your spouse has passed away. I know it feels so overwhelming- especially all of this paperwork, but you can do this! If he/she has already passed, do this one step at a time- or if someone asks what they can […]
Notify these people/ companies when your spouse or loved one passes away: Social Security Administration- offers survivors benefits. Please contact them and make an appointment ASAP. They will not pay for previous months. They also put the deceased on the Social Security Master Death Index to avoid fraud. Employer of the deceased. Check benefits. Life Insurance company […]
This is an idea for creating your Funeral Program and some of the things you may want to include. It helps to write down beforehand the people you would want to have on the program and also thinks about who would like to be on the program. Listen to your gut carefully to help YOU […]
Holidays are something that you probably used to look forward to. Now that your spouse or loved one is no longer with you, it is something that you may worry about for months, maybe even dread. Holidays and grief are hard to mix! I have written some things I have learned about the holidays… Let’s […]
We know that there is no way to replace anyone who has passed away. But when my husband died, others found many ways to bring a smile to my kids. No matter what you hear in the world today, I have witnessed too many times to count that people are SO generous with their time, […]
Most people only have a couple of days to write the obituary. In these crazy emotional times, and when your head isn’t on straight you may need a little help. This is some information to get you started and things you may need to know when writing the obituary. . Personal History For Obituary: Name […]
This a question I hear all the time… When is the best time to change my social media status from married to widow? This is a big one even though that may sound crazy. It’s kind of like telling people some deep stuff that’s in your heart or where you are at in the grieving […]
When Jay passed away people would say, “God won’t give you more than you can handle” and I wondered, was I too weak for this trial? Was God punishing me? One more time feeling I was not good enough. I also thought, “It’s easy for others to say God won’t give us more than we […]
I am a member of some Widow Groups on Facebook. It breaks my heart each day to read more and more stories of loss. Oh, how I wish I could take their pain away. When you get that low it is really hard to know what to do. Some lose their will to live and […]
When I go to the store, park, or any public place, I watch how couples treat each other. I watch how adults talk to their children. I think it’s so interesting. Years ago I heard a dad yelling, like a crazy maniac, at his child on the next aisle over. I looked over and saw […]
Let’s chunk the journey of loss into 3 parts- survive, heal and grow. It’s easier for my head to wrap around it that way. Grief is really complex, so we are going to simplify it, if possible! There are so many things that make a difference in this journey- your history, personality, how your loved […]
