When my kids were little I loved the time of night when they were finally asleep. I would go into their rooms to check on them and notice how sweet and peaceful they look while asleep. Staring at them, I would think, “I love you so much! I can’t even believe my heart can feel […]
Widow’s fog is another thing I didn’t hear about until I was a widow. What in the world is Widow’s Fog? It feels like you are in a dream, a nightmare maybe, where nothing is clear. Nope- not your mind, your hearing, your feelings or your windshield. I seriously felt like I was walking around […]
Emotions are such a big part of life. I picture each of us receiving 10 scoops of emotional energy per day. How we use these scoops depends on what our emotional and physical needs are and also what choices we make on how to use what we have. When I wake up feeling awesome I […]
For quite a few years I dreaded my birthday. I wished people would just forget– especially myself! I didn’t like getting older or the attention. Now, once again, my perspective has completely changed. Why I like birthdays now… Oprah says, “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to […]
It took me a few years to be able to concentrate enough to read again. My son who was 17 gave me a book he read for school and said it was easy and I would love it. It was “Heaven is for Real.” He was right- I loved it. Then I realized my brain […]
Towards the end of the first year after Jay passed away it seemed so many people had enough of me or the situation and didn’t know what to do with me anymore. What happened to all of the people who said they would be here for me? The support slowly faded and away they went. […]
I didn’t even realize it for months, but I was trying to control everything around me once my husband passed away. Then once I realized it, I didn’t understand it. I’m not a controlling person, so why was I trying to control people and situations, and circumstances? Here’s what it is- I felt such a […]
The heart is an amazing organ. It does have physical pain. When my husband died, my heart hurt. It felt like it was bleeding– physically painful. I would hold my hands over my heart and tell it, “It’s okay. Please hang in there!” Oh, it hurt so bad. I had heard that someone’s heart can […]
Something grabbed my attention last week when we were on an airplane. As always, right when we got in our seats, the flight attendant was giving out instructions on how to use the equipment in an emergency. I looked around to see that nobody was really paying attention. I’m surprised I was because I had […]
I have been through some things in life and needed some time to think through– like YEARS to process! I didn’t even realize until now that we created a homemade cocoon. A safe house. One that only the people who live here could be inside. Matt and I with our children- learning and growing. So […]
Over the past few years, I feel that I have had a bit of an Identity Crisis and I’m wondering– who am I? I used to say, “I am a wife, a mother to nine, a business owner, a member of a community, church, etc.” I love all these things in my life sooo much, […]
People who take their own lives usually exhibit one or more warning signs, either through what they say or what they do. The more warning signs, the greater the risk. Talk If a person talks about: Killing themselves. Having no reason to live. Being a burden to others. Feeling trapped. Unbearable pain. Behavior A person’s […]
I have been studying suicide and I found a lot of information from the American Foundation for Suicide Preventionvery helpful: What is the best language to use when talking about suicide? The words we choose can sometimes sound harsh or judgmental, even when we don’t mean them to. It is best to follow the lead […]
I turned on my old ipod this morning and out popped this song from years ago- Yesterday, by Leona Lewis. I listened to it a lot in 2008, when Jay, my husband, first passed away. It was a song I listened to over and over and cried. That kind of sounds like a dumb thing […]
Oct 10, 2008 Here it comes- deep feelings of being so, so sad. Depression after a loss- now is the point where we know we can’t fix this problem easily. We really can’t bring our loved ones back. This is our new normal whether we like it or not. Usually NOT. This low space turns […]
